How am I?

How am I doing?

Surgery is this Wednesday January 17th at 9 am for 8-9 hours. Will be in Juravinski Hospital Hamilton (not Juravinski Cancer Centre) for 3-4 weeks having a full pelvic exenteration. In other words I will be coming home with what I have decided the correct technical term is "Barbie-butt" and using two bags for waste elimination. This will be a huge surgery and learning curve but the whole idea is to deny the cancer access to the inside of my body.

Introducing Wonder Barbie-Butt Pirate Ruthe and her team of cancer fighters. A team of past surgery and radiation mascot pals joining up with new to work together for the good.

I can't stop you from feeling sorry for me and I may need to make a few little alterations to the above outfit, but listen up, do you know what's more fun than pooping on a toilet and having a regular run of the mill non-Barbie-butt?

Living!

Living is my favourite.

And you are my favourite so let's do the living thing together.

I just need to do this one thing then we'll get right on with it.

So how am I doing? Really? Without the jokes and pictures? 

Well I'm nervous and scared. Overwhelmed and calm. Busy getting ready and procrastinating at the same time.

I'm ready to leave all of this next big thing up to Papa God. You'll never hear me talk a lot of religion, you just won't, but this is out of my hands and I'm glad about that.

So Karen will be taking me to Hamilton on Wednesday morning at 5 what-the-heck AM and she'll update to Facebook as we go. I can't promise there will be blog entries for a wee while, but we'll see. Wifi is frankly more important to me than food so I should be able to at least write a bit in a few days I hope. Not promising to make any sense. Friend me on FB if you want - Ruthe Martin

Speaking of food, this happened today thanks to Mary. Lots left over for supper tonight.

Also my kitchen is now clean! Big thanks to all the organizers who have been by, makes it easier to leave when you know you will come back to a neater home.

I'll let you know when I'm ready for visits, probably not at least for a week but like I said we'll keep you posted. After the 3-4 weeks in hospital I will be going to Karen's in Elmira for a while. No idea how long. Bring your furry floofs for a visit! Ron I really need to meet Welly! All other car ride lover floofs invited as well - humans too!

Meantime keep the prayers and good thoughts and pictures of your furry floofs coming in the comments of Karen and my updates I will read them as soon as I can. Go outside and take pictures even if it's cold. Winter is beautiful when you're not driving and sometimes when you are.

But what am I feeling MOST of all?

Grateful.

Just really really grateful for everything I have experienced good and bad and most of all for everyone who loves me. And even if you don't love me I'm grateful we met and I hope you love your life just a little bit more for having experienced this blog.

Okay, off to make jello for tomorrow's fun!