This is me gearing up for Monday. Up until the last few days the knee surgery has taken a supporting actor role in my brain - just kind of been a back seat driver to the cancer surgery.
Reading hospital information propaganda is fun. You get your odds of dying (0.7), find there's only 0.5 chance your knee will get infected (guess who beat those odds) find that the exercises they give you to do after surgery shouldn't hurt (must have been doing them wrong cause they still hurt 4 years later) and learn that it's okay to ask staff if they've washed their hands before they touch you. Yes I'll get right on that!
I'm remembering last time with the initial knee replacement. The nursing staff at UH was great, I only had one crazy and she was followed around by a kindly student nurse who apologized profusely in the wake of Ms Crazy RN who berated my elderly room mates and refused to contact the pain team for me for 4 hours when my nerve block quit working and it was just me and the bare naked pain slow dancing through the night because "This patient is new to me and I don't know if I can believe her."
I'd like to think I will be a bit more assertive this time. This time, when as the person who comes to take me home wheels me past the nurse and clerk station, if while everyone else smiled and said good bye one of them said snarkily, "And don't come back," I'd like to stop and assure her that I would do my very best to make that happen. And I did do my best snarky person at the desk, I tried really really hard.
However it HAS happened and in the words of the immortal Britney: "I'm back Bi$&@)!" and I'm ready to kick some snarky butt.
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