On Golden Commode or Commodo Dragon Strikes Again

Up until just now the strangest thing that happened to me (in this room) at night was that I dreamt about this thingy;

It's been above my head all week. It's to hang on to to help you change your position. In my dream the bad guys were coming so being the super hero that I am, I turned the thingy around 63 times, you know, how kids turn swings around so they'll spin.

Now here's where my special skill came in. I could turn the thingy 63 times AND THEN make it stay totally still so that when the bad guys came they wouldn't see the trap till it was much too late and those bad guys were toast and the day was totally saved. Huzzah!

Well. Tonight was stranger and it wasn't a dream. I wasn't going to blog about using the commode but now it's gone too far and must be punished.

Today was the first time I used the big girl potty instead of the commode all day long. The washoom is a trillion steps away from my bed and it's so well designed that I have to do a 17 point turn just to get into the washroom with my walker. You could never get a wheelchair into it.

Anyway today I took all those steps all day but decided that overnight I would use this thing of beauty instead:

So I'm tired and I've been drinking ICE cold drinks from my rocking thermos that can keep ice cubes for over 24 hours (thanks friends) and I really should get up but decide to go to sleep instead.

An hour later I'm no longer being given a choice in the matter. I have to pee. I do my fancy pivot out of bed and find out that my pants have been velcro'd securely into the top of my brace (see below) and will only pull down a few inches, which sadly, was not enough.

Yes.

There was no help for it. Things were already happening. I got them down as best I could and scooted onto the commode where I STILL couldn't free the pants from the brace so I tried to get them off my good leg and work from there. Okay but because of the way I was sitting my good leg got stuck inside the leg of the pants and couldn't go up or down

Since I couldn't stand on my sore leg to save my life right now, I was completely hog tied onto that chair.

Are you wondering if I had taken the time to move my call button close enough to the commode to use?

Silly Rabbit course not. Lesson learned.

So for a good 5 - 10 minutes I'm hollering for help. A bunch of people finally came by and one of them is my lovely nurse who rescues my good leg so I can stand and just generally helps me get my act together.

So there you have it. My little adventure for this evening.